The Cuban Way

The wife's family celebrates Christmas together on Christmas Eve. We gather at Cousin Jim's house... he's expected to have 30 guests. The torch was passed last year - meaning, the gathering used to be at the wife's Aunt and Uncles house. The older generation decided that the younger ones need to take on some responsibility for the gatherings. Our day is coming. Not neccesarily for Christmas but, some other holiday gathering. Anyway, the traditional Cuban meal consists of a roasted pig, rice, plantains, yucca with all of it smothered in mojo sauce. I can tell you, for me, mojo has been an aquired taste. It's a citrus, onion sauce with various spices - don't ask me I'm not Cuban. Jim and his Abuelo ordered the pig a few weeks back. Today they picked it up at the store and brought it home. They spread it apart onto a wire rack and then Jim's Abuela starts stabbing it with a knife and inserting a mojo paste deep inside the flesh with her fingers. Then she smears the whole outside with the paste. Jim then returns it to the store where his Abuelo works and they graciously put it back in their cooler for the evening. Bright and early tomorrow morning they will pick it up and take it to Jim's house where they insert it into the pig roaster. It's filled with a bed of charcoal and then slowcooked all day. Periodically they baste it with mojo sauce. By the time we arrive at 6 pm it's all cooked. It's so tender and juicy. I'll try to get some pictures of it before they carve it up and post them. The women folk don't really care to look at it as it still has it's head in place with it's eyes giving you the staredown. When we all arrive we stand around, gab, eat appetizers and drink - all in anticipation of the carving. Usually, people can't wait and grab pieces of it while it's being cut (narrowly missing fingers or hands). This year we're in charge of the rice... 7 uncooked cups of the stuff. After the pig is carved, we then gather together for a blessing. Afterwards, it's survival of the fittest. People pushing and shoving to get their place in line to get some food. No, it's not that bad but, these damn Cubans go nuts over this stuff. Like I said before, it's taken me 7 long years but, I now enjoy mojo. It really is a good meal. Dessert follows with some delectable treats.

The family then engages in the yearly tradition of the "White Elephant". There are many versions of this gift giving game, which I'm sure most people have played. We have a $25 limit and we buy gender specific gifts. We then get to pick a gift or steal someone else's if we so desire. A particular gift can only be stolen three times and then it's retired. This year it's a little different. We used to mix in shitty gifts with the good ones. Someone always ended up with a "White Elephant". One year I received gold lamay underwear - xxxl. Another time some unexpecting guest received a thong and nipple tassels. Let's see... someone always seems to get stuck with a triple F bra or some crazy thing like that. Well, the older folks decided that we no longer should get the crappy gifts. It seems that one of the Grandparents always ended up with the thong or something. I guess it was embarassing for them - I can't imagine why. The thing is, the cousins liked to buy the outlandish gifts and the old folks are in for some surprises this year. Cousin Jim and I have some malicious ideas in our head. It's going to be the best year yet.

Another surprise that no one knows about is the appearance of Santa. Cousin Jim is going to get dressed up in a Santa suit for the boy and some other kids that are coming. The only people that know about it is Cousin Jim, his wife and me. It's going to be a lot of fun. I can't wait to see the boy's reaction.